Forget Enlightenment, I just want to be at Peace….
I recently asked a question on Facebook:
“What results do get from practicing Yoga/Meditation?
And if you don’t practice…Why?”
Boy! I didn’t realize the responses I would get!
I said that I get a “pause” I get time to respond instead of “re-act”. My daily practice helps me accept life of life’s terms…my nervous system is stronger, I feel “glimpses of bliss” inside me, the love of my daughter, nature, moments, friendships….but I hate to say after almost 25 years of practicing/being on a spiritual path, I’m NOT Enlightened…*SIGH*
So forget Enlightenment…..
(That’s what I was going for when I started this path….25 years ago…. One with God, One with God, I am a God-realized being. I went to the Gurus, got my third eye touched, got the hug from Amma, Darshan from Satya Sai Baba, Swami Kriyananda, BKS Iyengar, TKV Desikachar, Bowed at the feet of Sri K. Pattabhi Jois….cried and cried and cried, God fill me with your light please please please…..get me out of this pain body….40 day/90 day Sadhanas in the Amrit Vela, cold showers, God smack after God Smack….Dammit I was gonna force myself into Enlightenment!)….and here I am….I’m really good at disciplining myself!
Of course someone on FB said “I practice for Samadhi” ….and then proclaimed that he was “Enlightened”….that’s another story….(after 31 comments back and forth I “blocked” the enlightened one.)
If you don’t know what “Samadhi” is….It’s one of the 8 limbs of Yoga (Check out my Yoga 101 talk/class here: Yoga 101 Talk )
Here’s a definition I found in the Dictionary: “A state of intense concentration achieved through meditation. In Hindu yoga this is regarded as the final stage, at which union with the divine is reached (before or at death)”.
In Yogic schooling we learn that Enlightenment is:
‘One with the Supreme Being’ or “Enlightenment”, realizing you are one with the Divine (God)….and you generally are neutral and aware most of the time…not “re-acting” to life, not judging others, loving everyone just as they are… unconditionally….being un-attached to the state of things, are you?….”If you think you are enlightened…go home for the Holidays” (or let Trump get elected President)~Ram Das, right?
Now I can clearly say I’m more enlightened than I used to be….with all my practices, and all the things I have studied over the years, and all the awarenesses I have… But I am NOT in a God-state of awareness at ALL times throughout my day.
I still get frustrated, mad, sad, happy…I still think if I could “control” my outside circumstances I would be happy or at least happier than I am in each moment right? I get ‘triggered’ by people in my life, everyday.
This is the reasons we practice EVERYDAY, to constantly remind ourselves who we are (Sat Nam, truth is my name). Yogi Bhajan says “Self-reliance conquers any difficulty” because we aren’t looking outside ourselves for the answers anymore + we have our practice to plug into the G.O.D. (Generating, Organizing, Destroying Force within us) EVERYDAY. And all our answers are within us….just realize THAT.
So back to Enlightenment…Yogi Bhajan, our teacher in Kundalini Yoga says “If you can’t see God in all, you can’t see God at all”. Well that’s a doozy for me!
Can I see God in the person who abused me?
Can I see God in Trump?
Can I see God in Osama Bin Laden?
Can I see God in the man who murdered my Grandparents?
Can I see God in the person who hurt me?
Can I see God in war, murder, evil?
Uhhhhh NOPE!
So here I am still practicing, not searching anymore for this magical state of being somewhere “out there” in the ethers….the ever illusive “enlightenment” or “samadhi”.
I am practicing loving myself, accepting what is, having gratitude for everything in my life (whether I see it as “good” or “bad”), living in each moment. Savoring my time with my daughter that I am so blessed to have…OMG only 5 years til she goes off to college!
Forget Enlightenment, I just want to be a good person, an example for my daughter. Someone she can look up to. A good mom. A good friend. Love myself just as I am…..Sat Nam
Until next time…..
Valinda <3
